Edgar Eaton

Edgar Eaton was born fat.  He was the heaviest baby ever born at the Davis County Community Hospital.  He was such a stir in the area that his picture made the front page of the local paper.  As soon as he exited his mother’s womb his appetite was insatiable.  Edgar would eat anything that was put in front of him.  His mother, Iris, would feed her little boy until he threw up.  “He’s a growing boy,” she would say to justify his appetite and her attempts to satisfy it.  Her claim was true; Edgar was growing.  But in addition to growing up like all children do, he was also grown out.

When Edgar reached the age of seven, he was wearing a size forty waist in pants and weighing in at a mind-blowing two hundred and thirty three pounds.   His pumpkin shaped head and fat cheeks made his eyes look beady.  The only time they got big was when he saw one of his many favorite foods.   To move those foods into his salivating mouth, Edgar would use his stubby dinosaur looking arms to shovel heaping portions into his face.  His mother would sometimes call him her little tyrannosaurs as she watched him eat.  At this Edgar would let out his best dino-roar and eat even more ravenously.

Edgar wasn’t the only one packing on the pounds.  Iris was also taking in portions fit for a family of four.  After she gave birth to Edgar, she never lost the baby weight.  And when she found how Edgar enjoyed to eat, she made it an activity they could share.

Friday night was pizza night at the Eaton home.  Iris would order two Meat Monsters from the local pizzeria.  A meat monster consisted  a double extra large pizza with ham, bacon, sausage, hamburger, Canadian bacon, and pepperoni all swimming in a bubbling layer of not double, but triple cheese.  Iris would set a pizza at each end of the kitchen table and the two would sit facing each other.  “Last one done is a rotten egg,” she would shout and they would begin consuming the pies.  The sounds of labored breathing and chewing filled the kitchen as the friendly competition went on.  For a long time Edgar wasn’t able to beat his mother in the contest, but on his seventh birthday he finally won.

Between the Friday night pizza eating contests, the all-u-can eat Chinese buffets, and fast food meals the weight continued to go up for Edgar and Iris both.  By Edgar’s tenth birthday Iris had become so obese that she was permanently bed ridden.  Iris’ lack of mobility didn’t do anything to hamper the eating.

On Mother’s Day Edgar snuck out of the house early and made his way to the donut shop down the road with a trash bag in his hand.  He stacked some crates in order to climb into the dumpster.  Inside he found himself up to his waist in old donuts.  For Edgar, it was like he had been dropped into some kind of sweet fantasy world.  He began to cram handfuls of doughnuts of all different shapes and colors into his mouth.  Edgar grunted with pleasure as he filled himself with stale doughnuts.  Mid-mouthful Edgar remembered why he was actually there and he began to fill the trash bag with doughnuts.  When the bag was full Edgar threw the bag out of the can and climbed out.  He hauled the bag back to his house and tossed it on to his mother’s enormous belly.

“Happy Mother’s Day Mom,” he yelled.  Iris woke up and looked in the bag.
“Edgar, are these for me,” she asked jokingly.
“Well, I was hoping you might want to share.”